I Thought You Hated Pedophiles

Just a few excerpts from the first Burphole collection. On audible as well. *** Oh. A new follower on my twitter page. Emily McDemilly. Let’s check out her bio. “Life’s too short to have regrets.” Oh, shut up, Emily. Everybody’s a philosopher. You’re supposed to have regrets. That’s what makes you human. Maybe you shouldn’t…

An Eloquent Penis Gets Writers Block

An Eloquent Penis Gets Writers Block If you would like to help with my coffee and muffin consumption, check out the “A Little Help?” post here. Thanks! Dragging your fingers across the keyboard looks like this: qKGWVLAEHGSDj≈ƒ ∫√b>. You might as well be using your penis. *** Some words of advice I received on the tropic…

A Corn Dog (The Pursuit of Happiness)

A Corn Dog (The Pursuit of Happiness) If you would like to help with my coffee and muffin consumption, check out the “A Little Help?” post here. Thanks! The pursuit of happiness is an odd journey. Pursuing any emotion is strange. Could you imagine saying, “Today, I’m going to pursue rage. I’m going to put…

The Land of the Litmus Test

  If you would like to help with my coffee and muffin consumption, check out the “A Little Help?” post here. Thanks! “Judging a person does not define who they are. It defines who you are.” Yeah, and if we like each other, maybe our definitions will improve. “It’s the people that know you the…

My Lord! Which Way To The Keg?

If you would like to help with my coffee and muffin consumption, check out the “A Little Help?” post here. Thanks! My Lord! Which Way To The Keg? There are a lot of Gods. Let’s see… Depending on your religion, there is God, God, God, and, um, God. You’d think we’d give Gods names. Larry,…

Deep Fried Humor, Please

If you would like to help with my coffee and muffin consumption, check out the “A Little Help?” post here. Thanks! Deep Fried Humor, Please “Dude, my food truck is a study in culinary fusion. We start with a foundation of the latino style street taco. And then we incorporate south-east Asian seafood with Middle…

A Little Help?

I’m broke as fuck. So, I was wondering if you can find some kindness, or a loose nickel, somewhere around your heart cavity. (That’s where I’m told feelings are.) Here is some stuff on Amazon: This is a small book in print, Kindle, and audio version. You can help by picking up a copy. I’d…

Could You Be The One?

If you would like to help with my coffee and muffin consumption, check out the “A Little Help?” post here. Thanks! “Dearest Margaret, I think you could be the one,” Jasper said with hopeful eyes. Margaret repositioned her massive girth to face Jasper. A feat that came with a small grunt. Moving that much weight…