Burphole #2!

(Go here! Purchase a book, please. Thank you so much!) So, a few epiphanies: I don’t like Medium. BUT, here are eighty-four shocking ways you can delete your account. (Kidding, of course.) No more Medium. So long, buddy. I realized I had enough material for a second mini book. (About 16,000 words.) And that’s what is happening. I must say: how extremely freeing. Random thoughts … Continue reading Burphole #2!

I’ve Moved To Medium!

For now. But it’s paying me a couple of bucks, so. I hope you will take a look. Thanks! Link to it by clicking here.  If you are curious, you can link to my latest attack: 5 Reasons “Downsizing” Should Have Been A Horror Film or, Nice Kitty! No, Miss Fluffy Bottom! NOOO! Thanks again and I will see you over there. Or I won’t. Have a … Continue reading I’ve Moved To Medium!

Passion of the Crime

What is your motivation? That is to say, “Why did you pull your dick out, Caitlyn Jenner?” Caitlyn: No, I didn’t pull it out. I pulled it off. Like an angry gorilla. I’m a gold medal winning Olympic athlete after all, silly… Make America great again. You did pull it off. But why? Some people speculate you did it out of jealousy. Those Armenian bitches … Continue reading Passion of the Crime

The Joy of Dissent

HELP OUT BURPHOLE WITH A SMALL PURCHASE HERE. THANKS! I like playing a game called “Escaping Terri Schiavo.” I sit on the couch and allow television entertainment to beat me into a vegetative state. Slobber begins to collect on the right side of my Snuggie. (I dribble from the right only. An insignificant observation, I suppose, but try dribbling from both sides at once. It … Continue reading The Joy of Dissent

The Sweet Depravity of Twitterville

HELP OUT BURPHOLE WITH A SMALL PURCHASE HERE. THANKS! @otterhands: So what if all Muslims are different. What does that have to do with Mexican babies dying of bean related allergies? @thatstuart: No one cares about your kids Halloween candy. Priorities, people! Do you know what the queers are doing to the soil? I start with a shot of whiskey, a small bump of cocaine, … Continue reading The Sweet Depravity of Twitterville

A Clean, Well Lighted Place To Kill Yourself

HELP OUT BURPHOLE WITH A SMALL PURCHASE HERE. THANKS! Hemingway was wrong. The following is the correct sequence: Write drunk. Waste an entire day with a record-breaking hangover while you ponder the meaning of life trying not to kill yourself. Edit Sober. I suppose I would bet a hefty sum that it was a hangover that did Hemingway in. Being drunk is fun. It’s the … Continue reading A Clean, Well Lighted Place To Kill Yourself