The Joy of Dissent

HELP OUT BURPHOLE WITH A SMALL PURCHASE HERE. THANKS! I like playing a game called “Escaping Terri Schiavo.” I sit on the couch and allow television entertainment to beat me into a vegetative state. Slobber begins to collect on the right side of my Snuggie. (I dribble from the right only. An insignificant observation, I…

The Sweet Depravity of Twitterville

HELP OUT BURPHOLE WITH A SMALL PURCHASE HERE. THANKS! @otterhands: So what if all Muslims are different. What does that have to do with Mexican babies dying of bean related allergies? @thatstuart: No one cares about your kids Halloween candy. Priorities, people! Do you know what the queers are doing to the soil? I start…

A Clean, Well Lighted Place To Kill Yourself

HELP OUT BURPHOLE WITH A SMALL PURCHASE HERE. THANKS! Hemingway was wrong. The following is the correct sequence: Write drunk. Waste an entire day with a record-breaking hangover while you ponder the meaning of life trying not to kill yourself. Edit Sober. I suppose I would bet a hefty sum that it was a hangover…