The Joy of Dissent

HELP OUT BURPHOLE WITH A SMALL PURCHASE HERE. THANKS! I like playing a game called “Escaping Terri Schiavo.” I sit on the couch and allow television entertainment to beat me into a vegetative state. Slobber begins to collect on the right side of my Snuggie. (I dribble from the right only. An insignificant observation, I suppose, but try dribbling from both sides at once. It … Continue reading The Joy of Dissent

The Sweet Depravity of Twitterville

HELP OUT BURPHOLE WITH A SMALL PURCHASE HERE. THANKS! @otterhands: So what if all Muslims are different. What does that have to do with Mexican babies dying of bean related allergies? @thatstuart: No one cares about your kids Halloween candy. Priorities, people! Do you know what the queers are doing to the soil? I start with a shot of whiskey, a small bump of cocaine, … Continue reading The Sweet Depravity of Twitterville

A Clean, Well Lighted Place To Kill Yourself

HELP OUT BURPHOLE WITH A SMALL PURCHASE HERE. THANKS! Hemingway was wrong. The following is the correct sequence: Write drunk. Waste an entire day with a record-breaking hangover while you ponder the meaning of life trying not to kill yourself. Edit Sober. I suppose I would bet a hefty sum that it was a hangover that did Hemingway in. Being drunk is fun. It’s the … Continue reading A Clean, Well Lighted Place To Kill Yourself